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the__voyeur

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5/19/05 11:14 pm

oh no...

i think i was just romantically shouldered by someone i don't even like!! this lifetime is just a mess. I feel like listening to some Erika Badu and eatting some fried ice cream.


Know what's stupid?
Ms. Kennelly.

This post goes out to all of you hard working female students who time and time again get discriminated against by sexist teachers who prefer hunky males over hard-working female students.

Damn you Kennelly for pushing down my grade because i was absent due to COLLEGE VISITS!

Damn you Kennelly for kicking up your leg so i could see your punani (*shudder*)

Damn you Kennelly for mocking my idea of communism in that French movie

Damn you Kennelly for hitting on freshman boys and ivan... poor guy

Damn you Kennelly for wearing tight jeans that showed your ass crack

and last but not least...

Damn you Kennelly for exisiting.

(sorry if this was poorly written, i'm too lazy and tired to care)

5/16/05 04:09 am

i just wrote the greatest entry about flying monkeys, prostitution and Isaac Brock a few minutes ago, and my mess of a computer shut down on me...

it's the man i tell you ... the man [inserts shaking fists]

Basically, before the man took away my childhood, and the meaning of life itself, i was ranting about my Regis prom experience. i had a great time, but it was a little suspicious. i wasn't comfortable in the environment at all... i'm used to my artistic friends who could care less about their appearance ... random loose strings of justice hanging down in random places on their clothes... and care more about being dumb asses with synchronized dance routines made by my little cousins =] hehehe. But yeah, the whole thing was a little suspicious ... too high maintenance for me. I like dressing like a hobo, and roaming on the streets of manhattan playing guitar and singing happy songs that make people wanna dance in their pants.

I've come to the conclusion that i will marry a dorky troubadour that has a tamborine-playing flying monkey named Teddy.

teddy the flying monkey

Teddy, my troubadour husband and i will fly around the world, beating people with our invisible beating sticks. I think everyone needs a little love tap, especially love taps given by flying monkeys named Teddy. With our love taps of justice, the world would be a happier and less suspicious place. We could beat the producers of American Dad for making such a crap-ass show. what were they thinking? i love family guy, more than i love teddy the flying monkey ... but American Dad is the biggest mess to have messed since Michael Jordan began to play professional baseball.

4/25/05 10:49 pm

I hate this horrendous process known as college deposit paying.

Actually let me change that: I hate college. I can't decide where i want to go!!! Do i go to Bryn Mawr, my first choice that gave me pocket change for financial aid? Do i go to Grinnell that gave me an obscene amount of money? OR do i go to Carleton because of it's name????

@#)(TYU{(PUQEFIFHN*@#(R HF{*N*#@{(&TUWGFH

I want to go to Bryn Mawr, need to, but i'm poor as fuck. I haven't met any prospies at Grinnell since i couldn't go to the acceptance weekends... and i only have five more days to decide! Not even... gaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


And then i have this second prom crap to deal with.
I love andrew like a brother, but a) i don't have a dress b) i'm confused as fuck about a shitload of things c) i hate to admit it ... but i'm scared >.< What if i screw up this important night for him? Plus it's different with me taking him to LaG's prom. My friends are already chill with him and anyway our prom is one huge flaming mess of a joke. But his is at the Waldor, with annoying rich and gaudy boys who in four months will be attending Harvard without need to apply with FASFA applications due to their enheritance from Grandfather James-Richard the second. plus i feel like he's doing this out of guilt because i asked him... i just don't feel good at all about this whole shindig. I feel like cuddling up with a massive teddy bear and hidding from all my insecurities and conflicts. One of you needs to buy me a big teddy bear.


I'm a mess.

I have a real serious problem. I like anyone, everything ... or at least i believe i like people and then i wind up feeling like a dumbass cause it's all imaginary shit made up in my expansive mind. It sucks, this need to constantly like someone that i have... i thought i got over it but no, it keeps creeping back up at the worst times. I blame it all on LaGuardia... with it's lack of reasonable males. Or when i actually have connections with guys they wind up being a) INSANE or b) crazy drug users.... why am i attracted to drug addicts?? it's weird since i don't do ANYTHING, and yet i've wanted to have cello Joey's babies for years (just an example).


GAAAHHHH maybe i need to go to Bryn Mawr, where i would just have to deal with Haverford guys that are easy to manipulate. heheh, that sounds horrible. Anyway, the last thing i need is a short hairy man named Dan.

4/8/05 11:36 pm

I really must say...

I suck at this whole frequent updating-ness that is livejournal.

So much has happened, way too much to type down in the 20 minutes that i have left until i should get a head start on that slumbering. So i'll do some highlights...

Orchestra concert- Mr. Minenna, if you only could read this entry, just so i could tell you how much of a twatt you are. If you conducted half as well as you bitch, maybe we might have sounded better that night.

Hahah, i feel bad, since i sound angry all the time on this thing. Highlight of the night had to be the french toast at the Olympic dinner with Steven, Clara, Tiff, Adam, Hollis and Robby... hehehe poor Robby, always lurking.

college crap- got into first choice Bryn Mawr!!! W000000000ttttt

prom- $170? what a mess. but still going with drew.

Katrine Hall- Is my hero. everyone should grow up to be like her. amen.
(hopefully we'll jam more in the summer)

This is a horrible entry, but i guess i'll end with some angry rant like usual.
Know what's stupid?
plain flavored Yogurt. Why would anyone ever come to the conclusion that people would actually enjoy the taste of unflavored bacteria? I spit on you, plain yogurt. You taste like cheese from the 70's and look like a substance that would come from something phallic.

the end

3/2/05 09:02 am

So mr. ALexakos wasn't here... and i was the only dumbass that came to class.

And now, for your amusment:

ironic

everybody point and laugh
hehehehh

2/25/05 03:13 am

My stomach churns in anticipation... my unappealing fingernails are swiftly becoming intangible...


I'm scared. I'm petrified of something and I don’t even know what it is.


I couldn't go to sleep tonight. I kept thinking about everything, and nothing, about my future and lack there of. I kept thinking of love and hate, of the passion ridden and the passionless. I was laying in bed, gently slapping the mattress supporting my sleep-deprived body in anger and confusion, yearning to find the cure to my madness. "Why can’t I know all the answers?" I’d scream in my head while fully comprehending the fact that no one, except those ever-lurking omnipotent powers, could hear my cries.

I am afraid. I panic too easily. I’d pinch myself if it could help me feel again.
I worry sometimes that I am not passionate enough. I fear that my passion will become the bane of my existence.
I used to rant and rave about everything, and now... I am just confused.

2/21/05 11:14 am

Yes, I'm going to ruin my long time record of not being associate with people who rant about meaningless teenage crap on their Livejournals. But i suppose I'll balance it out with a...

Know what's stupid?
So i was sitting in Sunday school ... yes, Sunday school ... when one of my teachers, the annoying Emory, who's attention span is about as vast as a two year-olds, starting proclaiming the most subjective crap and was trying to force his ideals onto us. Me, being the chaos conjurer of the class, starting shutting him down with facts throughout history that proved his rant incorrect and meaningless. (I kinda feel the need to state that I am a good Christian, but sometimes "the church" in general pisses me off, for reasons too long to express in this Livejournal entry). Anyway, during my "shutting down Emory" speech, I came to a realization...

Why do Anglicans follow a book (the book of common prayer) that was written by Henry VIII and his family, a man who created the Anglican church solely because he wanted to legally screw more woman so he could have a male heir to his throne? Silly Anglicans.



Kk, now for my teenage rant.
I can't stop thinking about this kid. I never thought I liked him, cause he's the man!! I sit next to him in class every day and we just draw random pictures of justice about nothing (kinda like a bad Seinfeld episode). It bothers me that I like him since i could never picture us together ... like turkey and cheese, hm, maybe not the best example. more like, stringbeans and candy canes? Meh! enough with the senseless analogies. I guess i can't stand it because i never feel like i'm not good enough for a person, and yet I feel this way with him because he's a reincarnated version of Jesus ... he's a genius, hilarious and yes, he can even make the blind see. So!! The dilemma is:
a) do i say something (a Hollis B. suggestion)? keep in mind, i sit next to this person, and if worse comes to worse, I'll have to deal with my humiliation forever

b) keep quiet and feel like an exploding firecracker all the time?

or

c) dance!

1/28/05 07:31 pm

I love my job.

They force us to do the most random, unproductive activities. Take today for example: a group of us were asked to talk to two different Teen Art programs over the internet. Keep in mind there is this massive mic in the middle of the table sending out everything we say, and a video camera taping every move we make... we kept forgetting both were there, and started making fun of the people online until they yelled at us and said, "dudes, we can hear everything you're saying." James (the funniest man alive) kept trying to hit on the girls over the internet, and Diane just sat their looking confused. Me being the HUGE dumbass that i am, kept screaming to make sure that they heard me, until the told us to move the mic further away. It was the most pleasantly random experience ever, and yet it was quite fulfilling due to the chocolaty goodness that is Ring Dings.

Know what’s stupid?
Over-aged losers who try to impress young children by acting half their age. I have a boss that acts like he’s 12, when he’s really 40. If it was ANYONE else was doing that it would be fine, but he tries so hard to impress us for what I personally feel are all the wrong reasons. Question number one: why are you trying to impress 15-18 year olds? I don’t want to know you smoke the reefer and that you fucked your girlfriend in between a session. Question number two: why do you constantly scream at us and degrade us, and they cry about it when we’re mean to you? You’re 40, get over yourself and get friends your own age. Question number three: do you not have a life? If not go get one fucktard.

Sometimes I feel bad that I openly denounce him… there are times he almost acts sincere, but then I see what an asshole he can be and my sympathy swiftly dissolves into the polluted New York air.

1/27/05 11:05 pm

I have to start off with something positive so that you all don't think i'm this horribly morbid person.

I love being a musician. Something has been bothering me a great deal lately, so i decided to indulge myself in some Brahms, banging relentlessly at the piano for an hour. It’s not only surprising how much better I felt not only about myself after playing a heavily romanticized piece, but also how much closer I feel with the rest of humanity. It’s hard to describe if you’ve never experienced it, so I won’t even try to on this joke of a journal. Lately I’ve really wanted to get through to a person. It’s not a romantic thing… I thought i got through, but lately i feel like i've reached an wall, and I can't go further inside. I really want to though, because i know how beautiful they are inside… I just wish they’d let me in…

I had a really funny experience a few days ago. This past Monday I was given the opportunity to speak in front of a bunch of old rich artists. It was the most stereotypical setting I have ever found myself in: I managed to meet an old, horny, rich white man who asked me if i knew Queen Latifah, an anorexic blonde who mysteriously kept running off with this excruciatingly hot Spanish artist, an over achiever, rich soccer mom, who kept putting words in my mouth and an Andy Warhol wannabe. It was so much fun to sit back and analyze these ridiculously predictable people. Plus there was great food.

I propose a toast: to aristocracy and the people who can sit at home on their computers and talk shit about it.

1/16/05 07:48 pm

Today i worked out with a massive bouncy ball, and it was fun. (worked out = kept bouncing it until it touched my ceiling). I think everyone should buy a massive bouncing ball because the world would just be a happier place

I keep posting random pictures of people in black & white, but I love this one.


Hester finally found GodCollapse )


Know what's stupid?
Damn the man who thought creating an actual process for applying to colleges would be helpful. YOU LOSE FOREVER. YOU HAVE DESTROYED MY SENIOR YEAR, AND SCARRED ME FOR LIFE.
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